What Will People Say...
I have read that families are like fudge – mostly sweet, but with a few nuts. I think most people relate to this, but the family I am referring to in this blog is the “sweet family” – you know the family you would say is the “good side.” The family you love to visit and don’t dread when holiday events roll around.
My Uncle John and Aunt Sarah had three kids – two sons and one daughter. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see them very often because they lived out of state. Their oldest son is a few years older than the rest of us, but their middle son is my brother’s age and their daughter is my age. Holidays were a blast when we all got together and were filled with a mixture of fun and mischief. It never took long for us to pass that awkward first few minutes of not having seen each other in a year and then dive right into playing and causing chaos. No matter what we got ourselves into, Uncle John was the best and balanced responsibility and fun! What we all four had in common is that we wanted to be as good looking, cool and popular as our eldest cousin who took after his father. I am sure we bothered him tremendously due to the age gap. What teenager wants to hang out with younger kids?
Not only was my Uncle John wonderful with his wife, kids, niece and nephew, he was also popular with the rest of his family and friends. He was handsome, talented, smart, kind and surprisingly humble given all that he had going for him. He seemed to be the perfect husband and father, and people gravitated to his personality and style. One of his close friends said, “Even John Wayne wants to be Uncle John.” If anyone had a reason to be arrogant it was my uncle and everyone who knew him would agree.
Fast forward many years and this time our family get together was for a sad occasion. Like other families, a funeral was the reason we were gathering together again – my favorite Uncle John’s funeral. I was amazed at the outpouring of people at his memorial service. We celebrated his life by sharing memories and stories. We also watched a slideshow of his time in the Navy, as a husband, father and his career as a commercial pilot – a Captain for a major airline. From the outside, Uncle John seemed to have a perfect life. Like the rest of us, I am sure he had his ups and downs and even got scared at times. However, he handled it with a calm demeanor, graceful disposition, faith and kindness to all those who knew him. Many people testified at his memorial service to the fact that he treated everyone the same - whether a fellow Captain or the custodian at the airport. Uncle John reminds me of the Bible verse: 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. Uncle John seemed not only courageous as he battled cancer in his last days, but he did everything in love.
If John seemed to have it all and be it all, what kept him humble? At the funeral, the pastor shared that John’s favorite verse was Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and he will direct your paths. The pastor explained my Uncle John’s vantage point of this verse and how its words humbled him. John knew if you can’t lean on or trust your own understanding as a human and the only one you could trust is God. Let’s face it, we all make daily mistakes. Only an omnipotent God is perfect, knows the path He has for each of us and is the only one that we can fully count on. This verse was check point for my uncle - a “who am I compared to an all-knowing God,” and it kept things in perspective.
As I listened to my cousins, now grown share about their relationship with their father and how he was their hero and a mentor in their life, I realized everyone would want to hear those attributes at their funeral. Along with others in the crowd, it made me reflect what will our kids, family and friends say at our service?
While I was extremely sad to be attending Uncle John’s funeral and seeing my cousins again under those circumstances, I take great comfort in the fact that I will see Uncle John again in Heaven one day. I know he had accepted Christ into his heart which is our entry key to paradise and while he was not perfect – Uncle John was saved! He strived for excellence throughout his life. Excellence is what we all should strive for and it is a daily walk. Don’t ever forget - it is not how you start but how you finish!